There’s one thing I’d like to make clear before I get lost in my predictably nonsensical rambling and that is that I’m currently taking a bath. So if you felt a bit uncomfortable then well done, you have an almost unearthly sense of the world and impeccable survival instincts. How am I writing this in the bath, you may ask? Well my Macbook is balanced on a small table besides my tub. I’m actually living extremely vicariously by having any water within ten feet of my Macbook which is why I’m mostly dry and have therefore made the entire point of getting a bath redundant.
Taking all of this into account – or perhaps this was your first query anyway – the important question to ask here is why am I in the bath? Well, firstly because I’m a classy lady. Secondly, because why not? Don’t pretend you’ve never watched YouTube or Netflix, or in my case Fish Plays Pokemon, in the bath before! I’m very defensive about my bath time activities. Like an angry whale.
Moving on, I thought I’d talk about what sort of week I’ve had, and luckily for all you nosey or slightly peculiar people it’s been a bothersome one. Sure there are some real life issues that are making life a bit more challenging but everyone has those, what is actually causing me the most hassle and what I actually want to talk about on this rainy Friday evening is The Dead Files.
If you’ve heard of TDF then you’ve probably just eye rolled out of this post, out of the internet, out of your house and into nearby traffic. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s one of those stupid paranormal activity programmes but this one’s different; most of their episodes are on Youtube and so I may or may not have spent a good 10 – 12 hours over the last five days binge watching this bullshit. More worryingly though; I’ve actually started believing that some of the stuff that happens on the show could be real. I even asked my boyfriend – a huge sceptic – to come over and pick an episode apart for me so I’d start seeing sense again. I’ve kind of got a grip back on reality but there is one thing that’s kind of bugging me now that I’ve dipped my toes into the world of paranonsense, and it’s to do with a dream catcher.
As an English, white girl I’ve always liked the idea of dream catchers which is why I bought one – something like this but way more feathery – off of Amazon late last year whilst buying a few home ware items. I didn’t purchase one to stop nightmares or to encourage dreams, but simply because I’d wanted one for a long time and sometimes I may or may not like to run the feathers over my face.
As soon as it arrived I hung it up on the wall above my bed, assuming that’s where it should be, and forgot about it completely after a couple of days, as is life. Almost immediately I recall experiencing graphic, frightening, distressing nightmares really, really frequently. This continued for almost a month I’d say but I certainly didn’t pin it down to the dream catcher.
In hindsight, I now know that the nightmares ceased once I’d moved my dream catcher to the other side of my room. I wanted to place some pictures on my wall and the movement actually had nothing to do with my dreams or even the catcher itself, but again about decor. After this movement I do not recall having any nightmares, or dreams for that matter at all which is actually the norm for me.
Recently though, I moved the dream catcher back over my bed to make the background of my videos more aesthetically pleasing and you guessed it: those nightmares have come back. I didn’t actually start wondering about the dream catcher placement until earlier this week when I began to wonder about the supernatural elements of life and noticed my dream catcher’s feathers dancing in the breeze. It got me thinking about the weird dreams I’d experienced just earlier this week:
Sunday: My mum and I are being interviewed by Davina McCall? She opens a book which must have a bomb it or something and we are all caught in the blast, I can feel the heat and the burning. I’m then in hospital and I realise almost instantly that my left arm has been completely blown off but my mum is stitching it back on. I keep telling her it doesn’t work like that but she goes ahead anyway and then I just spend ages watching my arm rot and watching the flesh slide off of it.
Monday: I’m running away from police on prison grounds. I assume I’ve been a prisoner for a while. I see a hollow under a tree and dive into it to hide, but then I’m somehow up at the top of this giant oak tree. One of the policemen climbs the tree and throws me down from the tree. I can feel that horrible uppity feeling in my stomach and it happens four times. I think I then become brain-damaged as some lady is teaching me how to count again. When I go back to my bunk there’s a woman there stealing my stuff but I can’t speak. Then my boyfriend woke me up because apparently I’d dug my nails into him and kicked him.
Wednesday: I’m on a space ship but I don’t think I’m myself. There are huge spiders following me but I keep hitting them with fire extinguishers and then just getting on with my day. I don’t think I’m the only one there but nobody else has a body. Suddenly the ship is on fire and although I run around for ages I end up melting into the side of the ship. The ship is completely fine after this and there’s someone else bashing the spiders but I’m still a horrible, gooey mess.
As you can see, it’s been a pretty weird week, and these sorts of dreams have been happening for weeks now ever since I put that dream catcher back over my bed. I moved it today to see if the dreams stop and if they do, good and if they don’t then I’m seriously going to have to do something because they’re making me worried about going to bed.
I realise I sound a little bizarre implying that an object is influencing my subconscious so strongly but it does honestly make me wonder. I don’t necessarily believe dream catchers are just objects, that is I don’t equate their metaphysical properties to that of a potato with feathers sticking out of it, but I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say it’s making me mental. So, I did a little Google searching to see if it was possible that my dream catcher was causing nightmares. Here’s some stuff I found:
Granted I didn’t find a whole lot of stuff that was in any way substantial, although I don’t think I expected to. I did find out that a whole load of people had asked similar questions on Yahoo Answers, which was actually deeply unnerving rather than helpful, but the above answers are perhaps the most productive. I was interested in what one person said about ‘nightmare catchers’ and read up on them a bit more, there’s a how-to from Instructables and a whole bunch on Etsy if you’re interested but mostly all I found is that it’s a weapon in a game called Mabinogi (mah-bin-o-ggee? mab-in-o-guy?) World.
So, if I choose to believe that my dream catcher is the cause of my nightmares the most likely reason is because it was made with negative energy. So, I went to the shop owner Buddhastyle, because legend has it Buddha had great style, to see if there was any information about how the ornament was made. Alas, the only information they share about their dream catchers is that they are fair-trade which doesn’t sound negative, but let’s be honest manufacturing and/or appropriating sacred totems might be.
The easiest conclusion I’d like to draw from this situation is… Well, I don’t know. I am particularly sensitive to external stimulation, even if I’m not aware of it at the time and I may have been subconsciously noticing the dream catcher – much easier when it’s above my bed rather than away from it – and attaching feelings of negativity to it that could trigger stress. I don’t know, but as much as I remain a skeptic I can’t completely write off the connection of that dream catcher and the feeling that Davina McCall is going to come and eat my head.
20 Days Later
I removed my dreamcatcher from above my bed twenty days ago, and d’you know how many nightmares I’ve had since? None. Zero. Zilch. I’ve barely even dreamt at all.
In fact, I only remembered this post only because I finally had a dream last night. I dreamt that my boyfriend and I were walking through underground railroads and I left my bag down there so we had to keep searching. Then at the end I finally went home and my brother said Argos had delivered it a week ago. Yeha.
My questions remain quite similar to what they were twenty days ago: am I subconsciously causing the types of dreams I have based on whether I see my dreamcatcher immediately before sleeping or by harbouring the knowledge that it’s close to me? Or is my dreamcatcher actually causing awful nightmares due to being made with cheap materials or bad intentions?
If you have any experience with or opinions on dream catchers, or if you enjoy translating dreams please let me know in the comments below.