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I’ve Got Siobhan Win

September 11, 2013
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This is a rant I wrote whilst extremely sleep deprived. I’m going to write this as though it is a letter addressing the person who put my photos up as it’s the easiest way to pull it all together and because it upsets me that I know and may have spent time and energy on someone who would partake in this. And because then I get to be a bitch. Although really it applies to everyone who thinks it is acceptable that sites like this even exist. When I specify men as the users of said sites, that is because I assume that they are mostly straight males based on completely rational stereotypes. If you’re an innocent reader which obviously most of you will be, I hope you feel my anger. Or listen to this whilst you read

So, I’m on the phone with my friend the other night mindlessly scrolling through Facebook as we talk. I see this girl I vaguely know has posted a link to a site, saying a picture of her has been posted on it and asking whoever did it to stop. Now, I didn’t know what anonib was so I felt genuinely sick when I opened the link to a local Hull thread and saw pictures and requests for ‘win’ (revealing photos or nudes) of women. I start recognising girls I know almost immediately as I look through it and I’m reading some of the vilest things I’ve possibly ever read. I’m pretty mad by this point; this is a misogyny hive, there are girls who don’t even look sixteen here, these men have mothers, would you like it if someone posted pictures of your mum’s junk and then I see this:

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Those are photos of me by the way in case you’re confused.

I know, I should just chill out right I’m over reacting, I’m probably on my period or something. My uterus is just floating around my body making me mental. They’re not even that revealing. It’s fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii – shootsmyselfinthehead – iiiine. Yeah fair point, these photos aren’t that revealing, this is because I personally would feel too uncomfortable sharing my tits with the world. If you aren’t uncomfortable with it then that’s great, if you feel like sharing some of your body confidence and self-esteem with me then I am down with that. However, I’m fairly sure I am underage in the second photo as it was taken whilst I was on holiday in France years ago. I don’t even have that photo stored anywhere, except maybe an old myspace account that I don’t remember the log in for. Racking up a good number of asshat points here, aren’t we?

See, what you’ve done here is added to and supported a thread that is entirely built around and further encourages sharing pictures of naked women and girls who are underage without their knowledge or consent. There is an overwhelming amount of slut-shaming, as well as fat-shaming and other extremely derogate, sexist comments. There are people referring to these women as “filth” and “barely able to pass as human” when the commenters don’t find them attractive. Because that’s the largest problem here. How dare these other guys share pictures of naked girls without their consent that don’t appeal to a specific definition of sexy, amirite? All this privilege and they can’t even get a good feed of ‘hot’ n00dz going, there is no God.

The thread is also area specific, all of the women on there are local. People know them in real life, they’ll see them on the street. People have seen these women’s naked bodies and the women probably won’t even know. Emphasis on ‘these women’s’ as it’s you know, their bodies. We have the rights to do anything we choose to do with our bodies, nobody else does and that includes spreading images that aren’t yours on an online wank list.
But they deserve it right because they sent those naked pictures to someone? She knew there was a risk of it getting spread around when she sent it? Nononono. No. Who they send those photos to is their responsibility and decision. I doubt very much that many women send out pictures of their vagina and think “I hope everyone in a fifty mile radius sees this; I shall make a phone tree”. It’s not your job or right to judge people and hand out your twisted version of social justice because in your mind they deserve it. They haven’t done anything wrong. If you have received that photo then passed it on/ shown it to someone without her consent to do so, you’re a dick. Do you even realise what you’re showing people?

But they put them on their Facebook or somewhere else on the internets lol butthurt? Just imagine for a second that women have their own minds and entities that do not strive for external acceptance and affirmation but only to be comfortable in their own skin without feeling afraid or ashamed. Imagine women share pictures of their own flesh as though it’s acceptable to show female skin without it being for male, sexual benefit or judged by other women with incredible amounts of internalised misogyny and jealousy. I know, scary.

I don’t even know why I’m going into so much detail as to why this site is so disgusting and why every single contributor is a despicable person, it’s blatantly obvious. Right, I’m gonna write some rules down you should follow:

  1. Don’t objectify or devalue another innocent human being in any way.
  2. Don’t encourage or partake in a site that objectifies and devalues innocent human beings in any way.
  3. If you have any sort of respect for your fellow human beings report the site and get it removed.

(By ‘innocent’ I mean they haven’t done something so incredibly bad that it would warrant and validate being treat like anything less than a human being)

Clearly you’ve not managed to gather enough brain cells to realise that this whole thing is wrong on your own and you’ve already passed the decency line. You’re fine with women being objectified and humiliated without their knowledge for the benefit of men and lulz. You’re fine with me being one of them. Cracking. Just so you know you’re up to an impressive 245842 asshat points.

This brings me to my next point to incoherently rant over. You’ve followed the two photos by asking for win of me because since I “cheated on [my] long time BF” there’s got to more out there, right? Since you felt it was so necessary to state that information I can’t help thinking this is also malicious. No other posts are written like that, they’re pretty much all “BUMP” or “ne1 got [Insert girl’s name here] bangin tits”. I’d like to state at this point that in no way am I ignoring the fact I did semi-cheat on my boyfriend. It’s more complicated than it seems – as it always is – but I do realise I was in the wrong, I feel cripplingly guilty and like I myself have 839048502 asshat points. But I don’t particularly want to write about that on here, not yet anyway. So I acknowledge that I am being a hypocrite by calling you a bad person but welcome to my level, thanks for joining me down here.

My problem, that I have up here on my self-righteous soapbox, with you sharing this information is firstly, what business is that of yours? Focus on your own problems, because believe me you have plenty. If you stayed out of other people’s business maybe you’d have time to re-evaluate what detrimental life decisions you’re making. Secondly, why do you feel the need to share this information that has literally nothing to do with you?  What right do you have to share information about my life with anyone? Thirdly, this is slightly obsessive behaviour. You took the time and energy to find that second photo, or had it saved somewhere. Then found the site, a local thread so it’d be people I possibly know that would see it, and posted it on there. I assume in an attempt to humiliate me. Probably also hoping you’d get lucky and get sent more photos to embarrass me with. Why would you want to do that to another person? If this is the thought process you went through then I am telling you that is not normal, mature, acceptable behaviour. If you’re one of them “yeah I am evil ;)” people then urgh, seriously? I’m assuming you’re not fourteen, so that’s just sad and arrogant. This is probably meaning nothing to you, you might as well stop reading.

If you were legitimately just asking for nude pictures of me that’s obviously also very unsettling. I don’t have any naked pictures of myself, sorry to disappoint. But thank you for your interest, please take a complimentary salami slicer on your way out. For whatever reasons you posted my photo on this thread, you’re clearly desperate and have no consideration or empathy for the more intricate details of another person’s life. Or their boundaries. Or you just did it without thinking. In which case, again, stop reading because this is just wasted time and you’re probably really confused with all these big words with over five letters in them.

In summary pumpkin, what you did is you found out I cheated on my ex boyfriend, pulled two photos one that’s recent and one possibly from when I was underage that you would have had to have saved or found on a myspace account that is not supposed to even exist in the first place. You then placed them on a disgusting misogynistic thread asking for more naked pictures of me without my knowledge or consent from strangers. Thats:

  • Supporting and partaking in misogyny, the objectification and humiliation of women.
  • Posting a picture of an underage girl on a fundamentally sexually driven site.
  • Posting pictures without consent.
  • Crossing the social boundaries that separate appropriate and sane behaviours from disgusting and creepy ones.

If you’re a man, my patience for you is as short as your dick. Next time you feel like asking for nudes, consider what you’re doing. You may think this is okay because society for some reason doesn’t seem that arsed about it; but it is wrong. If you’re a woman, I’m just disappointed. Women should stand up for each other against this kind of bullshit, not join in on it. I think you have a lot of internalised misogyny you need to check. If this came from a twisted personal hatred, you need to calm/pipe down. It’s rising above your morals and it’s turning you into a hateful, anti-feminist, obsessive, hideous, vengeful monster with a lack of sense and awareness, and one day everyone will see that and treat you with the same level of respect that you treat others with. Byeeeeeeeee.

If you’re not the tool who did this, Wanna Follow Me On Twitter?

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  • Carol Wilson

    Well said! It seems to me that whoever instigated this atrocious, malicious behaviour is a jealous, childish bint who has never grown up and needs to be outed and named!

  • Emma Fisher

    Hello. I know you Siobhan, and I know that you are a lovely, sweet and kind, generous human being. For someone to do this to you, they have obviously got a massive problem, either with you, themselves, society in general or most likely all three. I believe that they need help. Their actions are beyond the realms of common decency and are also illegal. Maybe you should seek help from the authorities, involve the police (who can track down malicious posts) and get them the help they so clearly need. Good luck with that, I wish you every success because this person deserves to be punished and shown that what they have done is very, very wrong. When the perpetrator IS caught, I hope that they suffer a similar humiliation – I doubt it though because they don’t appear to have a conscience. Chin up love, rise above it!

  • Anonymous

    Rise, rise and rise Shober. Let others slobber through slimey lifestyles as they clamber to bring you down into their cesspit. Take your passion for words and take on the big world. A world so big that people and social media will fall away as you experience the drama of achievement. Don’t look back, don’t look down, look out to the horizon and imagine the literary Indians charging towards you. This is your challenge, this is your future so go and sit the Indians down, tell them to put their nasty bow and arrows away and converse.

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